try

to understand how i feel.

what would you have done if you were me?

i don't care if others hate me, i stand by my decision and its merits.

i hope you understand.

trust me, i rarely do things without thinking.
sure, i have a hot temper and react quickly.
but this is different. i would never unknowingly set off a chain of events.
i'm perfectly aware of the ramifications of my actions.
i watch what i say and what i do,
i know nothing is ever secret.
i don't deserve half the teasing compliments of naivety that i receive.

there's not one word i write on my blog that i want to keep secret,
that would be defeating the purpose of my blog, wouldn't it?

sometimes people have to be cruel to be kind.
i won't feign grace. i won't feign kindness,
but i'm not being completely selfish, i'm not being totally thoughtless.
sometimes it's better this way.

i'd never carried fault wholly and squarely on my shoulders before.
i'd never taken the entire blame for anything before.

people may think me a bitch, they may think me a slut,
they may think me a heartless girl.
i honestly don't care.
i just, with all my heart, want happiness for you.

don't make me have played bitch for nothing.
be happy. be strong. be loved for who you are.