animal love

got this from chris' blog:






And this from sarah's blog:


Sea otters hold hands when they sleep, so they don’t drift away from each other.
(Source: questionabledreams)




animal love <3

send me the moon

i took this a few days ago, when i was still living in my bubble of academic complacency.

so as usual, i'm blogging because i'm trying to avoid studying. This wouldn't usually be an issue, except I have a major history exam tomorrow. So i'm once again, shooting myself in the foot. I'm past the point of caring anymore. I'm doing well enough to get into Melbourne University, but my hopes and dreams of anything more than that seem so far gone that there isn't any visible point in me striving anymore. Why bother when it's unattainable? Yes, it is. I need a 92%. The way i did yesterday's and today's papers for literature and math respectively, I'm expecting high 70s to mid 80s. Even if I kick ass on my remaining papers, there's no plausible way I could get 92%. So whatever? I do still hope for a miracle of course, being optimistic to the point of delusion is a typical piscean trait. But i've just lost all motivation to study. I seem to always aim high then coast and regret but tell myself "hey, it's okay, where i am right now isn't that bad!" which is true of course, at least I'm still at a decent school. But should I be so easily contented, when I know that I am capable of so much more? I know i'm relatively bright, so I never study until the day before a paper, knowing it'll be enough to 'get me through'. I have tried starting early before, I start studying too early, then by the time exams draw near, I burn out. I get so sick of studying and so disenchanted with my life as a student that I decide, 'you know what? i think i'm sufficiently prepped. i can't take anymore studying. fuck this, i'm gonna go chill, at least i know i'll get through it." That dreadful thought, 'i'll get through it'. It's laziness at its very worst. So either way, my results turn out the same: just enough to get me through.

maybe it's my family background, maybe it's genetics (my mother was notoriously lazy, so she tells me. and i take after her in almost every aspect). But i don't know. I'm actually a bit...happy right now?

Because I used to hate my life and go like FML all the time.

But now I realise, we reap what we sow. So i may still be utterly appalled at myself, but i've reached a state of...peace? I'm no longer full of angst. Now it's more like contrition. I know i deserve my grades (or lack thereof). I'm just thinking, "yeah, i have no one to blame but myself. i've been given countless opportunities to prove myself, and not once have i stepped up to the plate. i don't think i deserve to be angry because...this really is a grave i have dug for myself. all i can do now is hope that i do indeed get through it, and work harder next year. i promise i will. i swear! i really will work harder next year, goddammit!"

i sense the imminent onslaught of a vicious cycle.

the ladder

so i have a literature exam tomorrow and i haven't started studying yet. I'm watching jungle fish 2 (it's an awesome korean drama, kinda like the korean version of skins, which is a HUGE step forward for korean broadcasting *applause*). so anyway yeah. i've been watching it and munching on WANGWANG. love wangwang. livin' the rollin' hi-life. exams? what exams? oh, tomorrow? really? I don't really mind though cause i don't really know how to study for literature anyway lol. oh yeah, speaking of exams...

I have math on wednesday, and for someone who has a gajillion untouched worksheets, I'm strangely lackadaisical. Not a good sign. I guess I can throw away any hopes of counting math as one of my best 4 subjects. It's not that it's hard, I kinda rock at calculus i believe, but I just hate doing it. It's such a chore. When i'm reading history or psychology, I actually find some of it mildly interesting. With math, i'm not even exaggerating, just LOOKING at the pile of shit that I have to do puts me in a horrid mood. I throw hissy fits and snap at people and get all flustered and flap my imaginary wings. I also spam innocent people like chris on bbm with blabber such as "OMG GOAT". oh my eloquence. I do know that it's probably because I get so overwhelmed by the work I haven't done in 10 weeks. Some of you may say "just take it step by step and calm down". I can't! It's a mountain *whines*. I do get through like 2 worksheets a day, which is a lot considering we usually get ONE PER WEEK. but I'm just plowing through them with mindless determination, so it's kind of useless. How so? I did 5 assignments last week, mostly on probability. Last night, I tried doing some probability questions in past years' exam papers. I knew what topic they were (probability), but then i had just completely forgotten how to do them, i had to refer to my textbook again. so it was kinda like. what's the point?! i've forgotten it all!! panick. so yeah, rushing through shit is definitely not my thing. I need to do stuff slowly to digest everything. which wouldn't have been a problem if i hadn't left all my math work to rot for 10 weeks. now I have to accomplish the highly improbable: cram 10 weeks into 1 day. i'm gonna need a miracle.

in other news: i'm realllyyyyy hoping bali at the end of january with athari materialises. I hope my dad lets me! Cause i'm already going on a KL road trip with sarah. so it's gonna be pretty hard to convince my dad to let me go to bali. He loves me too much to let me out of his sight for too long hehe. I really looooove my dad and every day he calls me telling me what he's cooked for lunch and dinner etc etc. I get so emo cause I really miss his cooking! Yes, my dad cooks EVERY. SINGLE. MEAL. FOR ME. My dad is the most awesome person who has ever lived. he is legend-wait for it-ary!

ok so back to my point. JYP audition dec 11, KL just before christmas with sarah, korea/taiwan/japan for holiday beginning of jan (can't wait to ski again. skiing is the only sport i really love, other than taekwondo). thennnnn bali 23-26 jan. then school again blah. my december's pretty packed /:

I've been relatively anti-social as of late, staying at home to study. I cannot study at the library, the atmosphere is just too tense and nerve-wracking for me to get anything done. stress a productive person does not make.

oh yeah, forgot to mention, I had my english exam today. I fucked it up real bad. but whatever, it's not one of my "best 4" hehe.

I am really thirsty and i kinda need a glass of water.

gorgeous koreans - http://fuckyeahuhljjang.tumblr.com

wtf kind of anime couple is this?! why are they so gorgeous?!?!

one of my fave female ulzzangs. why she so cute.

LEE CHI HOON. why is he prettier and skinnier than I am?

HAN GOOK. omg heart attack.

shin ho seok!

i'm going off to a corner to wallow in my newly-developed inferiority complex. LOL. just kidding. kinda. maybe.

someone wrestle me away from my laptop

i've been watching this for like 20 mins straight. i need to seek professional help.

only in japan

how confusing is this subway map man lol seriously.

idk why but i find the last 2 pics adorable and hilarious at the same time. reminds me of last week, when i was strolling in the city and a guy walk past with a jack russell perched on his shoulder. the poor doggy seemed scared out of its wits though, it was trembling like mad.

credits for all images from http://fuckyeahjapanese.tumblr.com ^^