so i haven't been blogging for way too long.

today, during HOI, we were discussing the topic of beauty.

we are never young/thin/beautiful enough.

and ive been surfing tumblr. all i've been seeing are pictures of painfully skinny girls with painfully chiseled cheekbones and painfully piercing eyes. there was even a tumblr that went something like "sheseverythingimnot.tumblr". seriously?

why the self-hate?

stella, ele and i spent an hour today looking at the facebook profiles of achingly gorgeous girls. with every picture, our self-contempt only increased. it's not fun, nor is it funny, but most girls indulge in this activity.

why the self-hate?

so my thoughts have been riding around on a fancy carousel in my mind, trying to find an answer. i know very well the process, best summed up in that mean girls scene. girls self-hate to come across as more modest. but somewhere along the way, we genuinely start feeling disdain for the way we look, act, speak, think, or even feel. and so my thoughts have been encircling this burgeoning question like vultures, except this time, the target is far from dying. we'll probably never know:

why the self-hate?