but i was looking at one of the pics below, a close up shot of my face, omfg my skin has gotten super BLOTCHY. like no zits or whatever, just red and blotchy. i don't know whyyyyy ))))))):
i think it's the late nights! i'm not one of those girls who can party hard and still look okay, even if i laze at home and do nothing but watch tv until 1am, i still wake up looking like i had a wild night. i guess i have to sleep at 11. but guess what? it's 12:40am now. nice one, sibyl. nice one.
so today i went on a recce trip to JB, to the orphanage we'll be helping out at in december. recce trip basically just equals going there to get a feel of what the place is like. then after that i was suposed to have dinner with my mum and her friend and that friend's kid who's my age, but plans fell through so i went home and gorged on junk food and watched taiwanese dramas and slept. i never used to find vanness wu hot, NEVER, but i guess he ages really well, cause dayummmmmm son! he's fineeeee now. the little boy who plays his son in autumn's concerto (currently one of my favourite taiwanese shows) is SO ADORABLE TOO! his name is xiaoxiaobin. OMG damn cute. i would post a pic, but he's not that famous :/ and he doesnt look v good in pics, he's def. made for acting.
okay here are the pics from the recce trip! be warned, i was having an ugly day today. it's horrible, i've been feeling ugly for weeks now, and it's really obvious in recent photos, i just look so much worse than i used to. i have no idea why. maybe it's the lack of exercise, combined with endless multiple choice SAT drills and late nights on youtube.
this pic is totally bad haha.
i was thinking to myself, why am i such an asshole? i was thinking about all the friends i have/had, and like, they're always the ones keeping up with me, i rarely initiate contact or like make enough effort to maintain the friendships unless it's KJ or...well yeah, prolly just her. sometimes cheryl. haha. it's always the other side texting me asking how i've been, asking me out and stuff. i shouldn't be so unappreciative i guess? but like, i dunno, for me, good friends aren't people whom i should have to make an effort to maintain my friendships with you know?
like with my good friends, MCP and KJ and some others, i can like, not talk to them for months, then pick up right where we left off, no awkward pauses and contrived small talk. i probably only have proper sms conversations with KJ and Cheryl like once a month or something, but when we see each other, it's still okay you know? there may be silence and all, but it's not like "omg awkward", so sometimes i guess i dont like having to consciously try keeping my interpersonal relationships afloat, my good friends and i click on this level where we understand each other, like how vicki understands i don't like texting much unless i'm bored in class lol, and she doesn't like texting much too (unless it's certain people in her life *ahem* J *ahem*), so she doesn't text me much either, and when she does it's really like, concise, if someone were to read the sms convos between me and V, they would think we're merely classmates haha. we're tight cause we're similar that way i guess.
and some people get offended cause i'm not your typical modern youth. i'm sorry if i leave my phone off for more than a day and like, not reply within 2 hours. i just....well okay to make it clear so that people wont get pissed anymore, when i'm at home, i only check my phone twice: when i wake up, and when i'm gonna go sleep. if i'm bored while waiting for something, i'll prolly check my inbox, but i wont reply. i hate replying immediately. i try not to do it. if i reply immediately, you can be sure that i didnt really put as much thought into my reply as if i take a day to reply. i just cannot multitask, and i feel it's so unfair to reply someone with a half-assed reply just for the sake of having to reply you know? it's like you can't be bothered to come up with something proper. when i reply texts, i'm always sitting down, staring intensely at my phone, typing and erasing for 5-10mins until my reply is good. so i just wait for my unreplied messages to pile up, then sit down and take like 20 minutes to reply all of them, this is usually just before or after dinner time. after that, i'm DONE. lol. its not that i dont give a damn about you, i just dont like being glued to my phone unless i'm out.
so to summarise, i dont check my phone when i'm:
1) at home
2) out with my father (cause my phone is primarily for safety precautions, if i'll be with my dad the whole time, i really dont see the need to even bring my phone out).
3) eating
4) on the computer
5) watching TV
6) reading
my conclusion: i don't multitask.
yes, my blogging style is erratic and all over the place and like, i usually just write paragraphs that have no point and say stuff with a point in mind but end up deviating and digressing to no end. i'm not sure it can even be considered a style. but whatever.
i need to see:
1) family doctor
2) dentist!!!!
3) DERMATOLOGIST. my rashes. are getting worse WTFFFFFFFFFF. i do not spend so much every month on creams and special soaps to have this shit come back and haunt me again during the holidays, especially during the holidays.
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i have a fever, whateverrrrrr i'm gonna sleep now night!
xx~~~~~
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