(:

finally, done with 3 of my 4 papers. i have a week til the final one, so i'm giving myself a little time to breathe.

chun's leaving for manchester.

i don't know, i don't have many things to blog about. my life's boring. i'm forever alone LOL just kidding. i think....it was a wake-up call that i needed. this world is evil!

people can be nice to you, but oh wary the things they say behind your back.
i guess, don't fear what they'll say, fear what they won't?


i've rarely been called slut/whore/bitch (thank goodness), but the one thing people call me is FAKE. most, if not all of my friends, had horrible impressions of me, and thought I was Queen Phony. I guess my badgering them to hang out all the time won because after hanging out with me more, they all tell me "I thought you were fake at first, but you're probably one of the least fake". I can't please everyone. I know that. But it feels funny that it's ONLY (i swear) the people who don't know me personally, or the people who've NEVER spoken to me, who call me fake.
Like i mentioned above, people who know me, don't call me fake. They may bitch about me, as all teen girls do, but the word fake doesn't come up (don't ask how i know).

i think this world has become too cynical though. it's really sad. I'm friendly to everyone I meet, because I really DO view every single person I meet as a potential good friend, because, why else would they appear in my life you know? But...it's sad that people have to twist that into "oh she's like soooo fake, she's nice to everyone, that's OBVIOUSLY fake, because she's TOO friendly it can't be real".

HONESTLY, EVERYONE? HONESTLY?

i shake my head at your lack of faith in the world.
what a dark world it is you live in.


P.S. - after much consideration, maybe their cynicism is better. I've been stepped on more times than I can count, used and thrown aside, used as a confidante but rarely as a true friend (luckily i know who my true friends are, and they are few). so maybe it's better to have your guard up. so you don't get trampled upon.

but no matter how much I try to be less "open" and "naive" (something my father always scolds me for: "so naive, you're not gonna end up anywhere!"), i can't. i somehow, after a few weeks, revert to that girl. that girl people hate because she's TOO sincere and therefore OBVIOUSLY insincere.

why my smiley post end up being emo nemo again? shake my head.